I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
