i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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