Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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