Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
