I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How's work?
Spinning.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
