you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
