I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
