I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize