i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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