Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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