I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
