She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
