Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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