Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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