So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
