On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
