The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His nipple licking is glorious
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