i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize