dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
