So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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