I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
