smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
