my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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