he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
