just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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