my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize