Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
