Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
