people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
