shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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