Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
