A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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