Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
