she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
