oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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