worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
