i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
