we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
