she woke up with a sticky ear
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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