"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
