Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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