I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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