at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
