I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
