JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting