just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
