life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You did what with his pubic hair?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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