i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize