Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even my vagina gasped.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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