No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i believe in u and ur pee
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
