Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
