bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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