So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
