Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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