It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
