Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
