If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
