Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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