i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
